Nonrelativistic quantum mechanics is derived by modeling the electron as a Brownian particle in translational motion, rather like a Mexican jumping bean zigzagging through space. As a straightforward extension of the classical picture, this “stochastic electron theory” (SET) offers an intuitive basis for quantum physics free of the epistemological and ontological conundrums that haunt the standard framework. The Schrödinger equation and Born rule are natural consequences of the theory, not presuppositions as in the dominant Copenhagen interpretation and leading alternative interpretations. Also, SET deviates from the standard theory due to short-time transients, suggesting novel experimental tests of the theory.